The Girly Attic Flu

from by Barry Beam

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This was a reoccurring dream that, for Barry Beam, turned out to be true. His mother, a dancing teacher, but really one of the aliens, made Barry watch the ritual of the Girly Attic dance, infecting him at an early age. This was about the same time as the Asiatic Flu but that has nothing to do with this. The Barry Beam Band was to be the vector of the infection.


Girly attic flu

As long as we are getting a bit technical!

It happened on a Firedrill
It was like the EARTH STOOD STILL
From that moment
I knew the truth

I had caught the Girly attic flu

To the Gym the girls did go
Curtains closed
Secret movie show
Why could the boys see
Cause it was the girly attic flu

girly attic flu

I feel so weak my klnees are trembling

Let’s humiliate him
Let’s turn him into a girl
Let’s give him corrective underwear
And put nare on his sweaty palms
Ha ha ha

Older boys used to pick on me
Kick me and tear my baseball cards
Why wouldn’t I defend myself
Symptoms of the girly attic flu

I ran home and told my mother
She said it’s nothing don’t bother
Then I heard her phone my teacher
Talking bout the girly attic flu

girly attic flu

I feel so weak
I’m afraid to defend myself
Get outta here you sissy

To infect the male of the species
Sprickle kooties on his hair or sweeter
Pass him a love note
Give him snuggy or Indian rope burn
No not that ahhhhhhhhhhhh

And when I ride the waves
I am alone with myself
The surf crashes off my body
And I am free
No man owns
I am king of the universe
I am a man

Look out for that rock your gonna wipe out

Now I got responsibility
To function well in society
I rotate tire
Replace burnt out tube
I wait my turn to add a word

Now dance the quirk jerk smirk
And marvo at computer jerk
Election time is almost here
They’re voting in the girly attic flu

What ya gonna do girly attic flu

Your are now under my spell
I command you to hit that wimp
Hit that wimp
Don’t hit me nooooooooooo
Take that
No no don’t hit
Please no don’t get me….

Mom, they were beating up on me at school
I didn’t want to be hit
What’s wrong with me?

girly attic flu

you wimp
I can run faster than you
Go tell your mother!

Ah ah ah


from Barry Beam - Rare Tracks, released March 24, 2013
Bb did the tracks and Doris Chapman played his mom. Lynn Brownbird played the alien amazon. Oh yes and Jeff Cohen and Bill Bramlett sings the Girly Attic Flu. :-)



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